Getting Caught Up

So, I’ve already been dealing with the compression hose thing for a little over a week now, and I have a lot to catch you up on.

  1. Price.  Goddamn but these suckers are expensive.  Fortunately, I’ve been cleared to wear knee high OR thigh high, and knee highs are not only less expensive but come in more options.  These suckers wear out, too, and your supposed to replace like every 6-12 months (so I’m told), so it’s not like buying a pair of boots that will last 10 years.  My mother has been wearing the same stockings for like 15+ years and that’s just wrong.
  2. Tourniquets. Knee highs are not supposed to act like little tourniquets that cut off the blood make your feet tingle.  This is the #1 problem to face when selecting knee highs, as far as I’m concerned.
  3. Summer.  Give me a break.  I wouldn’t have to write this blog if I lived somewhere where I wore pants, shoes, and socks year round.  I’ve already been wearing my open toe beige knee highs with flip flops and feel like I may as well be doing this:crocs-930175_640
  4. Thigh Highs. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. This is where I need the most help and am hoping some of you will chime in. It’s like sausages + muffin tops at the same time.  I’m happy to share my actual dimensions later but lets suffice it to say that my inner thighs rubbed together as a child and never stopped.  Never, ever, in my life, even when I lost 30 pounds in a divorce, did my thighs look like this:  pumps-2097531_640 If they did, we wouldn’t need to have this discussion, would we???

So far, my solution for going out in public has been:  beige knee high open toe (my first pair, Juzo Basic, purchased in an actual store, $60), super long palazzo pants that actually skim the ground and cover my feet, and flip flops.

Fortunately, it’s not super hot out yet and can still wear pants  (at home of course I don’t bother).  Also, Fortunately, I had been stocking up on said super long thin palazzo pants for the summer because I don’t have a single pair of jeans that fit (did I mention that I’m overweight? yeah, about 30 pounds).  So the palazzo pants work for me, being so super stretchy and all, and I went crazy and bought quite a few pairs.

But, they won’t work for thigh highs and after my surgery (did I mention I have to have 2 surgeries this summer?) I have to wear thigh highs for 2 weeks.

I’d love a comment from you if you think this blog is either funny, worthwhile, or crap. Thanks for reading!

 

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